Theonila's story

Nilla, comes from the heartland of Panguna in the Autonomous Region of Bougainville. This cheerful character is always seen with an affectionate smile that makes her a likable person to anyone she meets. However, this has never been the case in this young woman’s past, as she reflects upon her upbringing through the struggles of 10 year war and the horrendous execution of her “redskin” father at the hands of opportunistic BRA soldiers; she recalls the struggles she and her family went through and how she never gave up her dreams to make it make it to through education. This is the story of Theonila.

Theonila was born on the 4^th of September 1990 to a family of five, she was the last. At that time the crisis was at its peak.  Little did she know of a normal life, as everyday was filled with drama of seeing and hearing gunfire, blood and gore from casualties’ battle wounds, and the continual fear of what the next day would hold for the family, this was the life she became accustom to.

The family’s hopes were one day turned to rubble on that dreadful day their father’s life was taken. Nilla was only three years old but could remember well what had happened. John Roka, Theonila’s father had just come back from burying his brothers in West New Britain. The family were shocked to see him come back, but were happy that daddy had come home to be with them. The next morning, with his daughter in his arms, dad sang to Theonila as he carried her around the house, “♫Come back to me, with all your heart, don’t let fear keep us apart, trees do bend, though straight and tall. So must we to others call, long have I waited for your coming home to me and living deeply a new life ♫”. As her dad continued singing, he was interrupted by the arrival of 20 heavily armed men who claimed to have been ordered by the BRA hierarchy to take Mr. Roka in for questioning.

Theonila remembers vividly how she was harshly pulled out of her father’s arms by one of the BRA men and thrown on the ground. As she cried out of confusion of what was happening, her father was rudely scurried away by the angry men. Theonila’s mother Trish followed after as she was aware of the intent of those men.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Roka spent the whole day waiting for the interrogation, but it never eventuated. Instead, the 20 men, who now became more aggressive, started beating Mr. Roka with the butt of the guns they each held. Theonila’s mother tried to cover her husband to protect him from the beating; as a result she also took a beating from the angry men, who now did not care who their weapon landed on. She was cursed and taunted by verbal insults from the angry men as she was beaten. As both husband and wife became weak from the continuous beating, Mr. Roka turned to his wife and asked her “Sapos ol kilim yumi tupla, husait bai lukautim ol pikinini blong yumi? If they kill the both of us, who will take care of our children?” at that she let go. These were the last words she ever heard from her husband.

Mr. Roka, though badly wounded stood up to face his killers, as he made the sign of the cross (John Roka was a devoted Catholic), the first bullet was fired. It missed him completely; when he completed the sign of the cross the second bullet was fired. The bullet landed right between his eyes, he died instantly.

The men did not have any intention to burry Mr. Roka’s body as his lifeless body lay on the bloodied loan for the whole afternoon. It was almost dusk when nearby locals dragged his body to a dug shallow hole a few metres away. John Roka was killed on the 18^th of March 1993.

Mrs. Roka, seeing her soul mate’s life being taken away in a horrific manner, did not have the strength to stand up and walk. She could not cry either because she was in a state of complete shock. She could not remember how she made her way back home. But she managed somehow. Her husband’s murder still is as fresh as the day it happened whenever she recalls.

Life for the Roka’s took a turn for the worse as the family’s only breadwinner had been ruthlessly murdered. Their mother, though with the pain of losing the only love of her life, took the role of both mother and father. She got heavily involved in politics as a result; at times she would not come home for long periods of time. She had that fire in her to bring an end to the crisis that brought so much destruction on people’s lives. Her job also meant that the family had some income as she now was the sole breadwinner of the family.

One thing that Theonila is always appreciative of her mother was her un-wilting desire for all her children to be educated. From this, she had to risk all to find avenues to get her children to school; the Roka’s left the BRA’s keep in the mountains of Panguna and headed down into the so called “Care Centre” at Arawa, established by the brutal and abusive Papua New Guinea Defense Force. To Theonila and her older siblings, it was another life of fear and apprehension, as they did not know when they may become victim to the PNG soldiers.

Killings and young men and boys going missing were a normal thing at the centre, Nilla recalls the warnings her mother would tell all her children. As much as possible be obscure, or not to make themselves become a target, or not to give away information that may risk other people’s lives. And as if this made them any safer, Theonila vividly remembers soldiers would lure her and her friends into their armored cars and take them for a ride around Arawa. For Nilla, this was the only times she ever had a chance of being inside a moving vehicle. The soldiers would offer chocolates in reward for questions they would ask about particular persons, or where Nilla’s mother had gone to.

Nilla, remembering her mother’s advice, always kept her mouth shut whenever she was asked by the soldiers. She later came to realize that these soldiers were using the children to gather intelligence on the BRA.   

Those times when their mother would go out, big brothers Leonard and Justin would be responsible for the household. They were the whole world to Nilla. Leonard, who was always quiet and reserved, was the leader in the family. Justin on the other hand was Leonard’s right hand man. Despite their young age both boys ran the affairs of the house with commitment and diligence. Theonila always loved to follow her brothers; wherever they go she would cry after them because usually she was always alone whenever both brothers go out.

Going to school was a gamble between life and death, as children in schools would often get caught in cross fires between the BRA and the PNGDF. It was a daily routine for children, who would risk their lives for an education. Theonila remembers that every week would not go by without a shootout. In some instances, her whole class would end up sleeping by the shops in Arawa town to wait out a gun fight. Sometimes she would go home late at night; however this was life for Theonila and her family (this was how she put it).

Nevertheless, Theonila’s road to education was met with other challenges apart from the crisis. Since she was the last in the family, there was not much consideration for her to be educated because their mother had to pay school fees and other expenses for the elder siblings. This was a letdown for Theonila personally, as she aspired to be a teacher one day. But because mother could not afford for all, she (Nilla) was seen as a liability, hence she would often be told that she belonged in the village. It was hurtful for Theonila, but she always kept it because she would not want to see her mother being hurt or angry by her protests. Despite all that, she always loved and respected her family. She says she is thankful that all these had happened to her for it would make her a better person in life. And she holds no ill sentiment towards the treatment she received back then.

However, Theonila never gave up then, in the effort to win her mother’s heart; she would get up very early every morning to collect fresh oranges to sell at the morning market. This was to supplement her school money and also at least make some money for the family. At that young age, Theonila recalls, that was the only thing she could do to help. The thought of that always brings tears to her eyes.

Theonila’s journey through education would not have been possible through the intervention and help from her mother’s uncle and late former President Joseph Kabui and Uncle Tony Tapakau. Both were Theonila’s sponsor and mentors right throughout her primary, high and secondary education. Theonila says she owes so much to these two great men who gave her hope when she had no one to turn to.

On the contrary, Theonila had developed a reckless ‘don’t care’ behavior as she grew up. This led to her being involved in drinking alcohol and smoking. She had a very bad temper and would resort to rowdy and unfriendly behavior. This led her to committing an offense that should have ended her education. She set fire to the classroom of her school. Luckily, students responded quickly and the fire was put out before the entire classroom was burnt. She ran away from school then, never wanting to go back.

Again, through the encouragement of her mother’s late uncle Kabui, she re-enrolled and continued her secondary education. Nilla keeps to this day the letter which late Kabui wrote to the school to allow Theonila back. This was a major turning point for her.

Throughout her schooling, Theonila mentioned that her family had never attended or witnessed any of her graduations or school events. She graduated from primary school, high school and secondary all by herself, no witnesses or anyone of her family would come to see her. She describes that it was one of the big contributors as to how she developed that reckless ‘don’t care’ attitude. But then again, she remains thankful it happened to her.

As Theonila finished grade 12, she filled out her application for Divine Word University’s Social and Religious Studies. With much anticipation and high hopes from her classmates, who were now shocked that the rebellious and stupid girl in the class had finished with flying colors from Bishop Wade Secondary, would make it to university.

Receiving an acceptance letter for university studies came as a breakthrough for her, it was a complete shock for her family. As they did not have any confidence she would make it to university. Her departure to Madang was as usual; unceremonious and without any support.

Theonila Roka arrived at the university gates without any luggage, no change except the clothes on her back, a copra sling bag at her side with her mobile phone and save card inside. She was three weeks late into semester one. Away from her family, and completely alone this time, Nilla had to cope with the new culture she now found herself in. Fortunately for her, she had her elder sister’s friends who gave her good company. While in first year, she also met a special friend from Germany named Angela, who she treasures dearly as she always had time for her. Needless to say, the first year at university was a challenging time for Theonila, but, hardened by her past, she did not shun the opportunity to learn.

      

The second year followed with so many promises, this is where the author of this article comes into her life. She would always make reference to the first time she saw him, and it was in her first year, during the Inaugural HIV Debate between tertiary institutions all over the country. He was in the University of Papua New Guinea team, and was debating against DWU. That was that. She can only talk of the ridiculous smile of this debater that she thought she’d never be able to see again. Anyway, fast forward into 2011, Theonila asks out Nathan on a Sunday night on the 4^th of April, and he says “okay”. The rest is history.

Theonila on Graduation Day at Divine Word University

Upon her final year of studies at DWU, Theonila’s major research paper was on the leadership hindrances and challenges in Bougainville. Her research earned her a distinction and high recognition from her own family, who have now come to realize that their daughter, sister, cousin, niece and aunt has come out on top and is the first in the family to achieve a university qualification. 

Theonila says she will not stop there, as education for her people is her priority, she aims to continue to further her education and go back to Bougainville to help establish a university for the region. She has already started a school back in her village called “John Roka Memorial Home Care” named after her beloved late father.  Her utmost interest is pursuing a career in politics. And she hopes to become the first female president of the Republic of Bougainville one day.